Thursday, July 24, 2008

The hospital

Day 4 of the hospital stay. Nothing. No seizures, no abnormal brain activity. I'm starting to get really upset about all of this, upset that we may not find anything AGAIN. I don't especially enjoy having seizures but at least here I'd have doctors and experts being able to see where they are and what can be done about them. 

I had all these grand plans about posting everyday, as I'm doing absolutely nothing except lay on my ass and eat. I am attached to a leash and can go only as far as the bathroom. I'm on constant video monitoring, and if I leave my cage too often I'm told to get back to my bed! It's rather creepy to know you're being watched. Do you pick? Do you not? I'm really worried that I won't fit in my pants tomorrow, as I've been eating 3 meals a day, something I never do. I honestly thought I'd get so much done, blog, read, watch movies, figure out my new laptop, etc. All I've done so far is read some. Watched a few movies last night. Overall I feel really down, more than I have in a long time. I imagine a lot of it is not being on my meds which help a lot with moods, but also being confined to a bed, not having fresh air, not showering or washing my hair, and most of all not having girlie. Then there is prospect that is looking more and more likely that I won't have a seizure so I will leave here not knowing anymore than I did coming in.  


3 comments:

Chastity said...

Oh goodness..I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. I can imagine you would feel a little like an animal in a cage in that environment. Hopefully, the time will pass quickly, and as much as I would never want to wish a seizure on you, if you want one to feel more at ease about this study then I hope you have one :).

mlwindc said...

Sorry to hear you're feeling down, but I'm sure things will improve on the other end.

I'm still working my way through "Under the Banner of Heaven," but I'll be sure to do a post on it after I finish and have some time to process it. It's very interesting, that's for sure!

angie said...

I've been behind on my blog readings with Ava getting hurt.. sorry!

Anyone would get depressed in that condition. You will be fine. Some fresh air and Girlie will do just the trick.

I hope they gather all the info they need from your study.