My throat still feels like someone has taken a rake to it. Besides that I'm tired, but no other symptoms. 3 days now...c'mon! Either I get really sick and get to stay home, or I get better and don't sit at work like a zombie.
My brother lawyer emailed me today, as he will help me out at court. He doesn't do any type of divorce law, but as I can't afford a lawyer he's going to come help me out. What a nice bro. He doesn't really think I'll really get what I ask for. I knew that the driving restriction wouldn't fly, but hopefully the judge we take his alcohol usage into consideration. Did I mention that I want to hire a PI? I would love to catch AH with Daughter (girlie) at a bar with a beer (not really) so that he'll break the rules and get in trouble. What I REALLY wish is that he'd get caught DD again and go to jail. For a long time.
When I was visiting my family this weekend, I got to see my bro and his wife that live in NM. They have a little boy who just turned 1, and just told me that they are expecting again. I'm really happy for them, but at the same time really sad. AH and I had planned on trying for another baby back in January, so that girlie and this baby would be 3 years apart. Obviously, not going to happen, and for the better, I know. It's still hard. What if I don't have another baby? Even saying that is so selfish I know, because so many women can't even have babies, and I already have one gorgeous daughter. But I still want another baby, badly. Before I got pregnant, I had always wanted a baby, but didn't realize just how amazing being a mother is. So now the baby hunger is so much stronger because I know so much more about it. I want to be pregnant. I want to know that I am growing this real person. I have quite a few friends that are about to pop, and I'm so happy for them, yet jealous at the same time. I would never tell any of them this, just some thoughts for myself. I decided that if I don't meet anyone by the time I'm 35 (8 years), I will go to a sperm bank. Or if that's too pricey, a random donor.
I've turned into a stoopid person. I can't remember things for the life of me. Little things at work that I'll completely forget, even when I go to do something, I'll get to the next room and have forgotten what I was doing. I know everyone does that, but not as often as I do. It worries me. I can't spell anymore either, and that used to be my strong point, English major and all. I am actually worried about all of this, I'm only 27. What will happen when I'm 60?
14 years ago
1 comment:
You're going to be fine. You're going to get through this divorce, and eventually, when you're ready you'll meet someone else...someone worthy of you. Then you'll get your baby. So, the kids won't be as close in age as you'd anticipated...so what? My mom and my aunt are as close as sisters can possibly be...almost nine years apart. My mom was like a little mama to her baby sister. Your life is just going to get better and better. Keep the faith!!
Post a Comment